Elements of a Pleasing Personality

The view of success has shifted over the years basically from just industry, patience, honesty, integrity, etcetera though most of these still form the foundation in every success. However, success both in personal and corporate matters now revolve around the human factor. Over ten twenty decades the focus was on machines and industrialism as a factor for individual and corporate success. There was the sense of you can if you’ve got the machines.

Success has become a function of personality, human relation and interaction which revolve around the human factor. In the corporate world public/customer relations has become a key and sensitive aspect of any corporations’ efficiency in service delivery. And it will further shift in that direction. If we must think success in the individual, corporate and communal aspects of life in this age where the human factor is key, then we must consider the fundamental and most outstanding element in the human factor – personality (pleasing personality).

The world’s grown into a tiny village where everyone is virtually a neighbor and distance seems not to be a barrier anymore. The world wants to meet you; and the minimum requirement is a pleasing personality. To an extent you can make a success out of yourself or work by the number of people you know or are ready and able to attract. The question is not whether they care; the truth is that the world wants to meet who. A pleasing personality engenders the discovery and development of many other personal abilities.

Success is not something you achieve, it’s something you BECOME, your achievements you will always leave behind but what you become remains with you only that it gets better. Character development is the minimum requirement for becoming a success. A pleasing personality has everything to do with character development. Here are some elements for developing a pleasing personality.

1. Become the best: If a man can write a better book, preach a better sermon, or make a better mousetrap, than his neighbor said Emerson, though he build his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door. A pleasing personality is not confined all in good looks. The spirit and character of it is in becoming a person of value – value in the entirety of the word. You owe yourself and the world a personal responsibility to become better. That I think is the hidden essence of creation – growth. Wouldn’t it be a great disappointment for the world to meet you and you have nothing for them? Not even a single value to add to their life. Becoming the best not because you have something to prove, there is nothing to prove, man has never been satisfied by it. You have all to become. Consciously work to become better, have that mind in all you do. When you constantly work at it, luck will not stop you from becoming a success.
2. Become a person of unwavering character: there is nothing more pleasing in a person than being known as steady, dependable and trustworthy. As I walk through life when I see a man – a great man, I see his test. Everyman has his test. Character stands you out in a crowd where material and mundane elements masquerade the majority of folks who present themselves. There seem to be more need for people with integrity of character now than any other time in human history. If there are three fundamental things in man’s life, character development should be one of them.
3. Clarity in communication: communication is a vital instrument when wrongly applied can turn friends into enemies and plunge nations into wars. It’s the most frequent tool used in daily living, yet most people never improve in the use of it. Your voice is your most important asset; most people try to talk like someone else thereby selling their identity. Have we not met people who have something to say but make a mess of it? It’s important you develop good communication skills; it’s not what you say but how you say it. Be bold and clear in speech, let every statement represent what you actually intend them. Getting a word out of your mouth doesn’t mean it’s communicated anything. Let your every word and statement leave no one in doubt of your intention. Especially when giving advice, don’t mold a mountain of words and throw it out there. Let you words be few, clear, bold and precise.
4. Smile a lot: Obviously a smile helps a lot aside it’s medical and psychological importance. Like a butterfly is attracted to the buoyant attractive flower, so you endear yourself to people with your smile. You want to be the guy or lady every other person wants to talk to and associate or stick around, the contrary may be the case when you approach them with a stolid appearance. Laughter is the closest feeling to happiness. People want to be happy, there’s enough sadness and worry to do for another lifetime so don’t go about the place with that face. Some people think they gain respect with serious faces, smiling wins more friends than frowning. One can easily sum the rest of your personality on it. Meet people especially for the first time with a smile. If possible put a smile in everything you do, it’s a sign of competence. If you notice, people who are very good at their jobs do it with a smile; the opposite is as true.  A smile creates a sense of hope and expectation of good, this is the feeling you want to create as well as the impression you want to give about your personality when people come across you.
5. Be confident: confidence is usually a result. It’s not something you ordinarily wield on, it’s what you build. People hardly believe in one who lacks self confidence. There are however cases where people wield false self confidence; where their confidence is disproportional to their abilities. Competence engenders confidence. The more you set goals and achieve them the happier and more confident you become. People readily trust you when you are self confident. You grow in confidence when you meet your goals, you gain trust when you meet others need and expectation.
6. Show understanding: You make yourself likable when you show good sense of understanding. Show a sense of understanding in conversation and response. This you can achieve by good listening. Listen to understand and not basically to answer or respond. A lot of people think their understanding is best expressed only by their response, so they listen very hard.

There is a charm in a gracious personality said Orison Marden, from which it is very hard to get away. It is difficult to snub the man who possesses it. There is something about him which arrests your prejudice, and no matter how busy or how worried you may be, or how much you may dislike to be interrupted, somehow you haven't the heart to turn away the man with a pleasing personality.

The Seed that Grows Good

Where honour ceaseth, there knowledge decreaseth. The natural question is, what has respect got to do with success? Respect is a virtue that most people see as either really modest or out of place when compared with values like integrity, hard work, honesty etcetera. Respect is a seed, it’s one of the most basic and sometimes most overlooked values that can be developed and applied. It is an essential ingredient for a pleasing personality. Have you ever wondered how some people get to see what most other persons can’t? There are three categories of people, few who see things before they happen, many who realize it when it happens and the overwhelming majority who have no idea of what happened.

Respect as an attitude when rightly applied creates a consciousness, which tends to see beyond the superficial, whether it’s dealing with people things or ideas. The cure as I see it, said Herbert Hall is to be found in the cultivation of the faculty that finds some good in everything and everybody. The ability to see good is a function of respect. A plunge begins when one starts failing to recognize because they have refused by failure to observe and regard the good in anything. Who is as blind as the one who refuses to see? The ability to see good has long characterized some of the finest minds.

Like many other virtues, respect is not bestowed. Cultivating a faculty that finds good in everybody and everything begins by developing an attitude of respect for everybody and everything for what they do or are. You may not respect a dog for being a dog and you a human but you can give its due regard for what it does. Why bark when you have a dog? One who develops the capacity for respect creates the capacity to see good. Respect is a reward anyone can receive who practices their highest virtues.

Succeed in Service by Humility

Did you know that humility can work in you, through you and for you towards success? Humility is not a trait of weakness. Only the strong can be gentle, it takes a great deal of self worth, character and understanding to be humble.

The first action line of humility is personal, it concerns itself with improving ones mental frame, and it equips one with the understanding of who one is. We know what we are to ourselves, it’s not the same with what people see of us. It’s necessary we see ourselves also in the light of how people see us. Humility helps us in this aspect. It not only helps us appreciate or show concern, it makes us see value in people. When you don’t value people, it’s hard to see any good whatsoever in their opinion or contribution even if they have the perfect solution.

A master piece is not produced only by the skillfulness of the craftsman alone, flexibility is required on the path of object of work. As much as we want to be flexible to change, we equally desire to be agents of the change we desire. That’s what humility does, it reeds you of rigidity.

we are yet to realize and utilize the potential of possibilities we are capable of. Humility is a key virtue in making one a ready agent of impact, change and empowerment. These can only be achieved by service.

To be humble you must not only conquer pride but self. If you can conquer and control self, you can possibly conquer anything. You are humble not because you don’t realized who you are, but the correct idea about is; you know who you are so you must be humble.

Success Must Bestow Humility

Success is a desired achievement. Humility is a great virtue, contrary to what people think of it. But are these two compatible? There is always that temptation to be proud when one finally attains that enviable height of preferment. Even one from humble beginnings could be tempted to forget their roots, cast out every element of humility and become otherwise (humility is not necessarily associated with humble beginnings though). This phenomenon does not take away the truth that true success cannot expunge humility from its prided virtues. Humility is a character issue. Both success and humility share quite similar but different path to attain.

Humility is the ability to recognize that you are human. It’s the ability to be humble when you have opportunity and right to be proud. It is common place that pride is mostly associated with wealth, outstanding talents and the likes. If you noticed, I didn’t use the term success when referring to pride. Why? You may ask. It brings us back to the “all important topic”; WHAT IS SUCCESS? I wrote exclusively about success, if you read it, it will help clear out the misconception between success and riches. Success is definitely not riches however, it‘s an aspect of it that cannot be ignored. Happiness is an important part of success as success means different things to different people at different points in their life.

Humility comes from a great deal of self understanding and self worth. Humility is a wonderful personal virtue that many relegate to the background. These days I seem to talk a lot about the easy things, pride is one of them. It’s a no brainier to be proud once you attain a level of preferment. The easy stuff doesn’t usually stand you out. Beware of effortless attainments, for as much as I know, all worthy accomplishment are not without there fair share of difficulty and uneasiness at their initial stages. If your journey is without effort or opposition, it could be you are going down the hill. Here is something to consider about humility.

1. Humility brings you to terms with who you truly are. Pride on the other hand does the very opposite, it masks you from your true self and sets you aside not just from others but from yourself and you true values; it makes you build confidence around fetish hopes rather than gain it from internalized values. Every need has an ego to feed – Bob Marley. But I say, “Every cruelty or unpleasant character has a weakness it shields”.

2. Humility opens you up to opportunities around you. This is a neglected aspect; I believe that there is opportunity where you are. Pride lifts the head so high that it doesn’t allow one to see the possibilities and danger below.

3. It is easier to gain trust and association, with humility. A proud man is so concerned about only himself; he appreciates his qualities so much he barely has time for the greater good he can do to humanity.
One guaranty about pride is that it will surely lift you up. Who doesn’t want to be lifted up? Everyone wants to, but before you take the lift pride offers consider clause. The only reason why pride lifts you up is to let you down. “A man’s pride shall bring him low….”Prv 29:23

Every success has a level of pride attached to it. But any person of character learns to be humble and human irrespective of achievement. One pivotal key to overcoming pride is service. Service is a key calling in nature. Inasmuch we are born to win we are called to serve. Unfortunately pride can’t serve, should I say it can’t serve effectively. The moment you stop serving, you start losing relevance. The saddest thing that can happen to anyone is to know how irrelevant one has become to loved ones, the society and humanity. Humility creates opportunity for service. Conquer pride with service. The richest companies and people in the world are the ones that provide you service on a regular, consistent and satisfactory basis. There is no reason to be proud when you know you are at service.