Attitude is Everything: How a Simple Change in Attitude Can Change Your Life

We look with our eyes but see through our mind. 

– Chidi Ejikeugwu

 

Have you ever wondered why same thing happen to a different individuals and one person seem to respond different from the other?. The simple answer is attitude. The reason is because in life, it is not what happens to you or what does not happen to you that determines how you fare. You will realize that attitude does not just affect our relationship with the people and things around us, it goes far to determine how we look at life and how we respond to it. No saying how many opportunities have been missed, how many relationships dented as a result of wrong attitude. The most significant point to note about attitude is that it can shape the way we think. And we know pretty well that our life goes in the direction of our thought. But here is the sad thing, most people don’t recognize the wrong attitudes which they exhibit, they see it as a part of their personality, so they believe that’s the way they are. No that’s not who you are. Personality may be fixed but attitude puts a color on it.

You may not easily observe the day to day effects of a negative attitude until one of those defining moments when accumulated cause takes effect or is expressed, when things happen to us or otherwise. To really see a person’s attitude about life, things, work, people, see them on one of those days when the wind blows against their direction. “your attitude does not only shape your response to life but it also shapes how you experience life”. Here are some you must watch out for.

Complaining attitude: you can't complain and create at the same time; and we all are creators for we were made in that image. Complaining can deal your chances a surreptitious blow because it allows you to focus only on the things that are wrong so that you can’t notice what is right. Complaining does not allow you to see the opportunity to change and create. And some people mature in such a way that they always find something to complain about everything. What a poor way to live. If you are dealing with people and every time you relate with them, you always fond something to complain about, you are destroying them (or in a polite way, their self image). No matter how well you mean for them, the picture you are painting by your constant complaining attitude does not in any way attract them to the better intentions you may have for them.

Scarcity attitude: A few doze of this one would run any economy down in no time. Not believing that there could be enough for everyone, even if there’s not enough, this attitude keep most people from setting out to create more to satisfy the need – we are creators by design, most people choose to benefit only then making themselves consumers. People with the scarcity attitude tend to hold on to what they have as well as grab all they can at the slightest opportunity. What a small way to live. Two of such kind can run the company down. Don’t build your life and live on what is available, rather think of what is possible and pursue it. There is no limit to what is possible.

Yes it’s possible you can change, for change is one of the greatest human abilities. We pick up attitudes from when we were young, we continually change and reinforce them as we grow. No matter how long you have exhibited a certain kind of attitude, the moment you realize how it’s affecting you, you work, life, relationship and you decide it’s not what you want, you can begin to change it.

However, identifying a negative attitude does not solve the problem. You must not only decide to stop it, you must exert yourself to take on new habits and attitudes which replace the negative one. It’s like pouring clean water into a glass of dirty water UNTIL the dirty one runs out. But you must continue to focus on the clean one and using it long enough to replace the old one. So here are some of such graceful attitudes that can begin to change your perception and experience consequently your life.

Gratitude : an attitude of appreciation puts a whole new look on life. The reason is because, “anything you appreciate tends to appreciate.” Begin to be grateful for the things you have or care about. Be grateful for life, be grateful for small things as much as the big ones, be grateful for family and friends, be grateful for what you have no matter how little because “what you have is really all you need to get what you want”. And if you keep complaining about how small or insufficient the thing is, I promise you can't make much good out of it because you have not been able to see any good in it. He that does not have the little he has will be taken from him. So you have to see it (even when it is little) to ever have it – and that by gratitude. “The best things in life are still free, like air and ideas”. Be grateful for the past, be hopeful for the future and be thankful for the moment.

Giving attitude: Living is giving. To live is to give, give love, give hope, give happiness, for the greatest thing you can give… is yourself. And we are all giving it, every day of our lives, with every action, with every interaction. We daily give a piece of who we are when we talk, when we act. So rid the idea that those who give are those who have, for we all have little in the least. Nobody has more advantage than the giver because a vacuum is created on his side which must be filled. It’s a natural law of the universe. Put yourself in my shoe and feel what great good I gain by pouring out these few lines of lessons that have changed my life, and by sharing it with you hoping that you find some inspiration and ideas, I empty my self of content ready to reach for higher knowledge and ideals waiting to be filled by them again. Imagine enjoying this experience every other day. The beautiful part is when I get those lovely comments like “thank you for sharing this post”, it makes up any down day. I have learned to be hungry and remain so, and I wish that for you. That’s the only way you get to fill up. So the key is always be hungry. Why? Because you want to be filled again so that you may have something to give. Holding on to what you have or know is the surest way to the never grow syndrome.

Attitude is key.

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.
John F. Kennedy

Self Help Secrets: 3 Keys to Attaining Peak Performance

I have been thinking for a while, with much concern by the amount and nature of questions I have been receiving both from my readers and from most other forums where I get the chance to receive questions. There is a problem the way I see it and I believe that most of you can identify with it. But the sad part of it is that some people who may be involved or caught up in this situation don’t seem to realize it, constantly doing the same wrong things and expecting a right result is totally crazy; whether it’s by negligence or share ignorance. I feel it, and believe that most positive (progressive) minded people as well as the negative minded ones want to really get the good out their life, possibly the best. But they seem to have a hard time going about it, (that is if they go about it at all). There is a mishap in life as I have observe, where one readily concludes on oneself to a negative, unfavorable and pedestal note. There is another of a different kind that creates a spark in life wherever and whenever it’s applied. That is what I’m going to talk about. As a matter of fact it is one of the ‘whys’ of this blog, “Seeds of Success”. It’s not just to make you feel good but to inspire you, in a angry but polite way to start creating the results you desire and expect in your life, to be a person of success not just to achieve success but to become success. Because whether you like it or not, whether you know it or not, life responds to whom you are. Life brings in your direction not what want but what you ask or demand and that, it does in accordance to who you are. So your challenge today is to create or recreate if you will, who you become. You may be what you don’t like today or see yourself in a shape you don’t really want, you have a choice and the right to change that, to create and redefine yourself to become that person you want. The good news is, YOU CAN. You may not like what I’m about to say next and you may not have known it; you are what you make yourself to be. You are a product of your daily effort, you are the craft of your creation, you make you. It was a fine philosopher who said the life we live today is a product of our decisions and actions yesterday. If that is anything to go by, your life tomorrow is equally a product not of your yesterday but of the decisions you make today and now. There are 3 things you must know to start living at your peak.

Know who you are: this is one of the shortest but most profound statements I have come across. It was a great philosopher who said “Man know thyself”. It is interesting how we seek to know a lot about the things around us but don’t really know who we are. It’s not about what happens around you but what happens within you. You must be able to proceed from the direction of ‘I know who I am’. This is who I am. And I will tell you what that will do for you. It will in a drastic but enlightening way change how you see everything and how you do what you do. Most people do things but don’t know why because they don’t really know much about the person doing it. You must capture the substance first to really determine the form of its shadow; you don’t determine substance from shadow that reverse action. Most people therefore try so hard to get along when they should in essence be taking many along. They strive so hard and pour out their life into what they do and yet can’t find happiness in it. When you life is centered on what you do, it can be very difficult to impress and exert the right impact and influence the right results. You are not what you do. You have to approach things from a direction of who you are because at the end it is who you are that determines what you do and how things respond to you. People don’t always look at what you do when you understand and live who you are. When you are defined by what you do it is very easy to not be without reproach. What you do or did should not define who you are; your life is centered around who you are not what you do. The results you seek to accomplish are a fruitage of who you are, from where what you do is birthed.

Know where you are: if anyone is ever gonna get himself one inch ahead, he must know where and how he stands. Give me a place to stand said Archimedes, and I will move the world. You must be able to know where you are in your life to plot where you want to be.  Life is all about movement. If you are not moving you are not living. One trait of living things is growth. Growth is movement, getting from point A to point B. Where there is no movement, there is no progress. A sad thing than stagnation is backsliding, this is not the same as getting negative results. You want to make progress as much as possible; you have got to make movement. Never discourage a person who is consistently making progress no matter how slow. You will get there if only you don’t quit. But you got to know where you are. You must be able to say this is where I am.

Know what you want: whether you think you can or not you are usually right. If you can know what it is you really want from life then you can get to demand it. Nature does not respond to what we want as it does to what we demand. A lot of good hardworking people deserve better but get nothing. That old Biblical saying is ever true, “Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you”. What that passage is saying in essence is that whatever you expect or intend to happen in your life, you have to demand it. There are boundless opportunities for maximum accomplishment if only you can decide what you really want in life and get to demand it. Demand it?  From whom you say? Demand it from yourself; you produce the results you want. You are your own solution, so look no further. It all begins from you, from within you. I hear this questions a lot, what does life want from me? It’s a good question. If you ask me… life wants nothing from you, not your money not anything. I believe that life in essence throws that question back to you. What do you want from life? What do you want for yourself? Life I believe wants nothing from you than the best you want from yourself, life demands a better you. You at your best today and again, a you that is the solution, a you for yourself that is competent and complete, happy and powerful, a you that is a success not only working to achieve success, you at your peak.

And if that sounds like what you want, then I suggest you take this first but vital step in that direction. Subscribe to my Newsletter now and I will send you a free copy of my eBook that will inspire you to peak performance. Don’t think about how it’s going to happen. Make this vital move and get yourself a real chance to drive in that direction you desire. Enter your best email address in the form and click the subscribe me now button.

Elements of a Pleasing Personality

The view of success has shifted over the years basically from just industry, patience, honesty, integrity, etcetera though most of these still form the foundation in every success. However, success both in personal and corporate matters now revolve around the human factor. Over ten twenty decades the focus was on machines and industrialism as a factor for individual and corporate success. There was the sense of you can if you’ve got the machines.

Success has become a function of personality, human relation and interaction which revolve around the human factor. In the corporate world public/customer relations has become a key and sensitive aspect of any corporations’ efficiency in service delivery. And it will further shift in that direction. If we must think success in the individual, corporate and communal aspects of life in this age where the human factor is key, then we must consider the fundamental and most outstanding element in the human factor – personality (pleasing personality).

The world’s grown into a tiny village where everyone is virtually a neighbor and distance seems not to be a barrier anymore. The world wants to meet you; and the minimum requirement is a pleasing personality. To an extent you can make a success out of yourself or work by the number of people you know or are ready and able to attract. The question is not whether they care; the truth is that the world wants to meet who. A pleasing personality engenders the discovery and development of many other personal abilities.

Success is not something you achieve, it’s something you BECOME, your achievements you will always leave behind but what you become remains with you only that it gets better. Character development is the minimum requirement for becoming a success. A pleasing personality has everything to do with character development. Here are some elements for developing a pleasing personality.

1. Become the best: If a man can write a better book, preach a better sermon, or make a better mousetrap, than his neighbor said Emerson, though he build his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door. A pleasing personality is not confined all in good looks. The spirit and character of it is in becoming a person of value – value in the entirety of the word. You owe yourself and the world a personal responsibility to become better. That I think is the hidden essence of creation – growth. Wouldn’t it be a great disappointment for the world to meet you and you have nothing for them? Not even a single value to add to their life. Becoming the best not because you have something to prove, there is nothing to prove, man has never been satisfied by it. You have all to become. Consciously work to become better, have that mind in all you do. When you constantly work at it, luck will not stop you from becoming a success.
2. Become a person of unwavering character: there is nothing more pleasing in a person than being known as steady, dependable and trustworthy. As I walk through life when I see a man – a great man, I see his test. Everyman has his test. Character stands you out in a crowd where material and mundane elements masquerade the majority of folks who present themselves. There seem to be more need for people with integrity of character now than any other time in human history. If there are three fundamental things in man’s life, character development should be one of them.
3. Clarity in communication: communication is a vital instrument when wrongly applied can turn friends into enemies and plunge nations into wars. It’s the most frequent tool used in daily living, yet most people never improve in the use of it. Your voice is your most important asset; most people try to talk like someone else thereby selling their identity. Have we not met people who have something to say but make a mess of it? It’s important you develop good communication skills; it’s not what you say but how you say it. Be bold and clear in speech, let every statement represent what you actually intend them. Getting a word out of your mouth doesn’t mean it’s communicated anything. Let your every word and statement leave no one in doubt of your intention. Especially when giving advice, don’t mold a mountain of words and throw it out there. Let you words be few, clear, bold and precise.
4. Smile a lot: Obviously a smile helps a lot aside it’s medical and psychological importance. Like a butterfly is attracted to the buoyant attractive flower, so you endear yourself to people with your smile. You want to be the guy or lady every other person wants to talk to and associate or stick around, the contrary may be the case when you approach them with a stolid appearance. Laughter is the closest feeling to happiness. People want to be happy, there’s enough sadness and worry to do for another lifetime so don’t go about the place with that face. Some people think they gain respect with serious faces, smiling wins more friends than frowning. One can easily sum the rest of your personality on it. Meet people especially for the first time with a smile. If possible put a smile in everything you do, it’s a sign of competence. If you notice, people who are very good at their jobs do it with a smile; the opposite is as true.  A smile creates a sense of hope and expectation of good, this is the feeling you want to create as well as the impression you want to give about your personality when people come across you.
5. Be confident: confidence is usually a result. It’s not something you ordinarily wield on, it’s what you build. People hardly believe in one who lacks self confidence. There are however cases where people wield false self confidence; where their confidence is disproportional to their abilities. Competence engenders confidence. The more you set goals and achieve them the happier and more confident you become. People readily trust you when you are self confident. You grow in confidence when you meet your goals, you gain trust when you meet others need and expectation.
6. Show understanding: You make yourself likable when you show good sense of understanding. Show a sense of understanding in conversation and response. This you can achieve by good listening. Listen to understand and not basically to answer or respond. A lot of people think their understanding is best expressed only by their response, so they listen very hard.

There is a charm in a gracious personality said Orison Marden, from which it is very hard to get away. It is difficult to snub the man who possesses it. There is something about him which arrests your prejudice, and no matter how busy or how worried you may be, or how much you may dislike to be interrupted, somehow you haven't the heart to turn away the man with a pleasing personality.

The Most Common Risk People Take

If success had a formula most people would still not get the answer. Good things await the individual who would dare to take a step to improve towards a higher goal. The good thing is that if he does not quit in advancing towards his goal he will achieve it. Unless we change direction, we are likely to end up were we are going. The successes most people fail to achieve are often the ones they fear to attempt. The most risk is not incurred in pursing higher goals where success is uncertain. Not knowing one’s weakness is what incurres the biggest risk. If everyone must be certain before they attempt anything, we may well still remain in the stone ages.

Most people don’t believe in impossibility. They believe that whatever is necessary is possible. Isn’t that why necessity is the mother of innovation? That's the doers' attitude, it's the spirit that has driven some of the most helpful innovations we enjoy today.

  

We risk failure to achieve the best. Fear takes the upper hand when risk tends to only a selfish end. No success in life said Frances E. Willard is anything but an absolute failure, unless its purpose is to increase the sum of human good and happiness.

The diligent farmer does not cease to sow because of uncertain weather conditions which may not favor his efforts. Very few things favor good when it’s conceived, it will wither in conception for fear of not succeeding if the conceiver (for fear of failure) fails to birth it. However, when it manifests it harmonizes with the forces that encourage and fulfill its cause. Good is like gold, unpleasant in its ore but goes through the most punishing conditions and becomes finer and better, it knows to make friend with what would be assumed enemy, unlike wood which knows to avoid virtually everything. Man is what he makes himself.

The most common risk which I think of as a common mistake is, not having a goal and then setting out without a plan. The tragedy is not having a goal to reach, you are most likely to achieve a thing with a goal setting than without a it. Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down — Ray Bradbury.

To read more about risk taking, why and why not take risks, click the links below

Misconception of High Risk - High Success 

Is it Worth the Risk 

Risk factor: Everyday brings Opportunity 

3 Reasons Why You Have to Take Risk

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