Self Definition: Who are you?

The seemingly most misunderstood question is a very common one and comprise three words – who are you? Each time I asked this question, I usually get varying answers. It goes a long way to tell our individual uniqueness. It’s equally interesting what you will find out when you consider how people define themselves.
Notwithstanding, every individual reserves the right to define themselves however they please, whether it’s through the eyes and opinion of others or in the light of their own distinctiveness. This perception and definition of self should however not undermine one’s confidence as it often does when people define themselves according to the perception of others. How we classify ourselves can decide how we function in society as well as our personal space. It’s important to see ourselves through the eyes of others, it’s more important we see ourselves in the light of our own eyes devoid of external prejudice which could undermine individual uniqueness and self confidence.

In any case, the truth always holds way – as a man thinketh in his heart so is he. The problem however is we often fail to think of ourselves in our individual uniqueness. Careful observation shows that we usually define ourselves by

What we have
What we do or have achieved
Our position in society
Who we are related to and
By what we think we have potential for or aspire for.

I may not have the finest idea as how best to define oneself but the truth remains that you are what you think of yourself. What you think of yourself is the consequence, the cause however is that which influences or determines the thought. How we think of ourselves can be influenced through three channels, they include but are not limited to
What we observe by sight: the things we see could be very deceptive. What you don’t see in yourself and perhaps feel you need, can raise thoughts which could eventually dent your confidence, making you feel inferior especially when you have the wrong idea about it. It is not unusual for people to think in this direction, comparing themselves to others by what is visible hence defining themselves in the light of this wrong motive.

What we observe by hearing: This is an important gateway to the mind that can influence the way we think about ourselves. Words can serve as powerful tools as well as dangerous weapons; the ears are open to them all leading them to the mind. It’s equally not unusual for people to see themselves in the light of what others say about them, which in most cases is not usually wrong. It becomes an issue of concern when one values others opinion more than one’s opinion of oneself.

What we speak: This may seem out of place but it’s not. What you say in your hearing about yourself is as effective as what you hear others say about you. It can equally serve as a force to counter negative external influences.

It’s important we control, influence and perhaps direct positively the knowledge and ideas we gather through these channels in a manner that will not undermine our uniqueness and confidence or raise misleading thought of who one really is.


Handling Boredom By Purposeful Engagement and Conscious Mind Control

If life were a race, it would be a marathon not a sprint. But in this case, you race with none other than yourself. This is however not the case today. People rather see themselves as opponents that must be defeated to win life's race. The key to purpose discovery is realizing that every individual must discover the portion allotted them to work it, develop it, produce and grow with it as well as impact meaningfully using the same channel.

Human beings are dynamic creatures full of contradictions, experiencing troubles, conflicts and fear as well as boredom and satisfaction. When the mind is in its up-time the whole being usually follow the same hue. boredom is more of personal choice and less related or dependent on external forces and situations. Someone said “I will be bored if and only if all the problems in the world have been solved”. You can read any meaning into that statement but know that the presence of problems alone doesn’t take away boredom there are many people surrounded by tons of problem begging for attention yet they wallow in boredom. It’s all about attitude and orientation to improvement. There are people who can't continue at ease without finding a way to improve the status quo around them. For them it has become a habit and philosophy that things can always be improved upon. Hence the presence of problem does not take away boredom, what most certainly does is the willingness to do something about the problem. Here are some tips you may find helpful.

1. When boredom begins from the mind: situations will occur when a bored mind would result to a bored being, the reverse is also possible but this time only worse. When the former is the case one thing you have to your advantage at the initial stage is an active body, get yourself engaged with something purposefully interesting. The mind usually withdraws from what it has lost interest over, restore interest in a bored situation by being dynamic. Identify a problem you can solve quickly within that short period to excite your mind again.

2. Active mind but weak body: The mind can be raring to go but that will only amount to little when the body is bored or tired. In cases like this (but seek to know the cause of the tiredness as tiredness is not boredom), you have to get refreshed - usually a cold shower will do but in work environment where this might not be quickly obtainable, you can surf the net for something interesting or work out you mind and hands on a game (I learned that the fingers can influence the state of boredom...hm).

3. Highway to constant boredom: An express way to boredom is not by cutting off all contact with humanity. You can be surrounded with a hive of humans and still get bored. Boredom is cutting yourself from creativity and productive work. The presence of these can create social interaction, growth, motivation, sense of purpose which eventually eliminate boredom.

Human beings are dynamic creatures full of contradictions experiencing troubles, conflicts and fear as well as boredom and satisfaction.


Habits That Help Happiness: 20 Tips to Build Pleasant Habits

Anybody can be happy if they decide. Satisfaction capable of influencing happiness can be derived from what one does or possesses . One would be partially correct to consider wealth as a major factor influencing happiness, considering the fact happiness like any other feeling doesn’t just happen but are motivated by related factors. Security is one key factor that influences happiness whether it’s social security, financial security or health wise. Financial buoyancy may not guaranty security at all aspects but it can surely cover some vital aspects of your basis. Some people are blessed with such a beautiful personality, they appear to be happy virtually all the time, one can hardly find them in an unpleasant moods even when offended they just smile. Everybody’s not like that though, but the fact is that happiness is a choice. Here are certain habits that help us choose as well as stay happy.

1. Learn to laugh: laughter is the closest feeling to happiness .

2. Take issues calmly: form the habit of taking issues calmly, this certainly doesn’t mean taking things lightly.

3. Learn to like people: you have seven billion neighbors, considering this huge number, how do you intend to keep happy when you don’t like people.

4. Stick to your values: having values and keeping them gives you a sense of value, fulfillment and purpose. Purposeful living creates happiness.

5. Learn to appreciate: I can’t that “thank you” is such a hard thing to say.

6. Avoid stress: yes you can avoid stress, you can avoid unnecessary worry.

7. Live the moment: learn to live the moment and not necessarily for the moment. Live as if each second counts in determining your life, of course it counts.

8. Choose happiness with you words. What you hear can influence happiness but more important is what you say. Affirm to yourself that you choose to be happy, condition your mind to think in that hue, let your expression show it. It’s not easy but it makes for a sound mind. It might seem like acting but it’s not, you are rather building yourself into a better and pleasant character.

9. Count your blessings: how readily we count and rue on losses and misfortunes. Take time to think about your good fortunes, blessing and the pleasing moments in your life.

10. See your life as significant and make it significant. It’s worth knowing that you are one among billions and that you are unique in nature. And you can take it from there to discover, understand and fulfill your purpose.

11. Think right: as a man thinketh so is he, apply the conscious thought control. As the thoughts of a person is either bad or good so will the direction of his/her life and events will follow.

12. Increase in knowledge: a balanced life is key to happy living. Let physical and moral development be matched be with their intellectual equivalent. Don’t ignore an opportunity to improve intellectual capacity. Know it and then do it. Happiness does not come only from what you know but from practicing it. No knowledge is indeed a waste but what’s the good of knowledge if it’s not put into purposeful use?

13. Live secure: security is a basic human need, while some take various risks to meet this end others live quiet lives to maintain it.

14. Choose what you hear: your ear is a major gateway to your mind.

15. Don’t condemn yourself. Mistakes, failures or blunders are unavoidable parts of success and living.

16. Take correction with cheerfulness. This is an admirable quality that makes for a pleasing personality. To err is human but to accept correction with cheerfulness is a wonderful personal value.

17. Invest in people: when you invest in material things the rewards come in same kind. When you invest in people you leave a lasting legacy.

18. Learn to understand. Think before you act, this has not proved to solve the problem. Go a step further than just thinking, understand before you respond. Understanding helps you act with discretion. Happy are they who experience wisdom in daily living.

19. Help people: you ease your own worries and make yourself happier when you help others solve their problems and achieve their goal.

20. Eat healthy and exercise.


How to Achieve a Goal

There is a system for achieving a goal like for any other thing. Many people fail due to inaction than for ineptitude. When there's a problem to be solved or a need to be met, it's only reasonable to device a means to get it solved (that is if we want it solved in the first place). In the whole process of devising a solution, plans are made and goals are set. However, setting goals alone will not help for efficient handling of a problem. Goals are not objective in nature; they don’t give a clear structure of how to solve a problem. For instance say, "I want to buy a new house." That's a goal, working with that alone won’t get job done as it's soon crowded out by commitments. Goals are important in problem solving or meeting needs but to achieve what we want our goals have to be effective not just important. Effective goals are born out of plans. Achieving any goal can be as easy as breaking the process into two lines of action.

1. Plan: He who fails to plan, plans to fail. Well, nobody really plans failure for him/herself but people only fail to do what is necessary not just to avoid failure but to succeed. Planning requires understanding the problem, the goal and the process. It allows you solve a problem before committing material resource into executing it. Planning could be mentally demanding, hence most people don't plan. When such have related problems that require a plan they create goals out of blue skies without a definite structure for achieving it. But it shouldn’t be so. Follow your goal with a plan, your plan helps you break goals into packets I like to call roles or objectives, these are more focused and precise to achieving a goal. This will help you narrow down to more important aspect of the problem and create concrete realistic steps to solving a problem. Goals only help you go in the direction of solving the problem while objectives create a clear structure on how to solve it.

2. Execute: this is where your effort and resources come to play but it’s also where the effectiveness of your plan is tested. With a good plan, this stage could be as easy as it could get. However most executions fail not necessarily because of a bad plan but from what I call the inability to act. Here is a method people usually apply in achieving a goal. They plan, they implement and try again when they fail. As much as this could seem like a general rule, one would be doing an endless cycle if the plan is a bad idea in the first place. If a project is not a good idea, yet you stick with it and persuade others to contribute resources and money, the costs of failure will be large; as whatever can fail will fail.

A goal can be achieved in two stages; planning for it and executing for it. In some cases we fail to achieve our goals because we failed to choose the right approach to achieve it. The success of a goal could solely rest on a good plan. At other times failure to achieve a goal could rest little to how good or bad a plan is but on our ability to act. Any goal is achievable if one sets one's minds to it and choose the right approach about it. Some things require patience and persistence even our goals. Breaking goals into objectives helps you analyze your progression as well as know when you finally get there.

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