Elements of a Pleasing Personality

The view of success has shifted over the years basically from just industry, patience, honesty, integrity, etcetera though most of these still form the foundation in every success. However, success both in personal and corporate matters now revolve around the human factor. Over ten twenty decades the focus was on machines and industrialism as a factor for individual and corporate success. There was the sense of you can if you’ve got the machines.
Success has become a function of personality, human relation and interaction which revolve around the human factor. In the corporate world public/customer relations has become a key and sensitive aspect of any corporations’ efficiency in service delivery. And it will further shift in that direction. If we must think success in the individual, corporate and communal aspects of life in this age where the human factor is key, then we must consider the fundamental and most outstanding element in the human factor – personality (pleasing personality).
The world’s grown into a tiny village where everyone is virtually a neighbor and distance seems not to be a barrier anymore. The world wants to meet you; and the minimum requirement is a pleasing personality. To an extent you can make a success out of yourself or work by the number of people you know or are ready and able to attract. The question is not whether they care; the truth is that the world wants to meet who. A pleasing personality engenders the discovery and development of many other personal abilities.
Success is not something you achieve, it’s something you BECOME, your achievements you will always leave behind but what you become remains with you only that it gets better. Character development is the minimum requirement for becoming a success. A pleasing personality has everything to do with character development. Here are some elements for developing a pleasing personality.

  1. Become the best: If a man can write a better book, preach a better sermon, or make a better mousetrap, than his neighbor said Emerson, though he build his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door. A pleasing personality is not confined all in good looks. The spirit and character of it is in becoming a person of value – value in the entirety of the word. You owe yourself and the world a personal responsibility to become better. That I think is the hidden essence of creation – growth. Wouldn’t it be a great disappointment for the world to meet you and you have nothing for them? Not even a single value to add to their life. Becoming the best not because you have something to prove, there is nothing to prove, man has never been satisfied by it. You have all to become. Consciously work to become better, have that mind in all you do. When you constantly work at it, luck will not stop you from becoming a success.
  2. Become a person of unwavering character: there is nothing more pleasing in a person than being known as steady, dependable and trustworthy. As I walk through life when I see a man – a great man, I see his test. Everyman has his test. Character stands you out in a crowd where material and mundane elements masquerade the majority of folks who present themselves. There seem to be more need for people with integrity of character now than any other time in human history. If there are three fundamental things in man’s life, character development should be one of them.
  3. Clarity in communication: communication is a vital instrument when wrongly applied can turn friends into enemies and plunge nations into wars. It’s the most frequent tool used in daily living, yet most people never improve in the use of it. Your voice is your most important asset; most people try to talk like someone else thereby selling their identity. Have we not met people who have something to say but make a mess of it? It’s important you develop good communication skills; it’s not what you say but how you say it. Be bold and clear in speech, let every statement represent what you actually intend them. Getting a word out of your mouth doesn’t mean it’s communicated anything. Let your every word and statement leave no one in doubt of your intention. Especially when giving advice, don’t mold a mountain of words and throw it out there. Let you words be few, clear, bold and precise.
  4. Smile a lot: Obviously a smile helps a lot aside it’s medical and psychological importance. Like a butterfly is attracted to the buoyant attractive flower, so you endear yourself to people with your smile. You want to be the guy or lady every other person wants to talk to and associate or stick around, the contrary may be the case when you approach them with a stolid appearance. Laughter is the closest feeling to happiness. People want to be happy, there’s enough sadness and worry to do for another lifetime so don’t go about the place with that face. Some people think they gain respect with serious faces, smiling wins more friends than frowning. One can easily sum the rest of your personality on it. Meet people especially for the first time with a smile. If possible put a smile in everything you do, it’s a sign of competence. If you notice, people who are very good at their jobs do it with a smile; the opposite is as true.  A smile creates a sense of hope and expectation of good, this is the feeling you want to create as well as the impression you want to give about your personality when people come across you.
  5. Be confident: confidence is usually a result. It’s not something you ordinarily wield on, it’s what you build. People hardly believe in one who lacks self confidence. There are however cases where people wield false self confidence; where their confidence is disproportional to their abilities. Competence engenders confidence. The more you set goals and achieve them the happier and more confident you become. People readily trust you when you are self confident. You grow in confidence when you meet your goals, you gain trust when you meet others need and expectation.
  6. Show understanding: You make yourself likable when you show good sense of understanding. Show a sense of understanding in conversation and response. This you can achieve by good listening. Listen to understand and not basically to answer or respond. A lot of people think their understanding is best expressed only by their response, so they listen very hard.
There is a charm in a gracious personality said Orison Marden, from which it is very hard to get away. It is difficult to snub the man who possesses it. There is something about him which arrests your prejudice, and no matter how busy or how worried you may be, or how much you may dislike to be interrupted, somehow you haven't the heart to turn away the man with a pleasing personality.


The Most Common Risk People Take

If success had a formula most people would still not get the answer. Good things await the individual who would dare to take a step to improve towards a higher goal. The good thing is that if he does not quit in advancing towards his goal he will achieve it. Unless we change direction, we are likely to end up were we are going. The successes most people fail to achieve are often the ones they fear to attempt. The most risk is not incurred in pursing higher goals where success is uncertain. Not knowing one’s weakness is what incurres the biggest risk. If everyone must be certain before they attempt anything, we may well still remain in the stone ages.

Most people don’t believe in impossibility. They believe that whatever is necessary is possible. Isn’t that why necessity is the mother of innovation? That's the doers' attitude, it's the spirit that has driven some of the most helpful innovations we enjoy today.
We risk failure to achieve the best. Fear takes the upper hand when risk tends to only a selfish end. No success in life said Frances E. Willard is anything but an absolute failure, unless its purpose is to increase the sum of human good and happiness.

The diligent farmer does not cease to sow because of uncertain weather conditions which may not favor his efforts. Very few things favor good when it’s conceived, it will wither in conception for fear of not succeeding if the conceiver (for fear of failure) fails to birth it. However, when it manifests it harmonizes with the forces that encourage and fulfill its cause. Good is like gold, unpleasant in its ore but goes through the most punishing conditions and becomes finer and better, it knows to make friend with what would be assumed enemy, unlike wood which knows to avoid virtually everything. Man is what he makes himself.
The most common risk which I think of as a common mistake is, not having a goal and then setting out without a plan. The tragedy is not having a goal to reach, you are most likely to achieve a thing with a goal setting than without a it. Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down — Ray Bradbury.

To read more about risk taking, why and why not take risks, click the links below

Sign up to my newsletter and receive free updates on SEEDS OF SUCCESS, for signing up you will receive my ebook on special offer only on this site.


How to Give Yourself a Chance to Achieve Your Utmost Aspiration

Success is not achieving a goal but it has everything to do with it. Success said Gustave Flaubert is a result, not a goal. If the statement ‘success is a journey not a destination’ is anything to go by, then success means more than just a goal. To achieve you earnest desire, you have to go about it realistically and purposefully. And to do that there is need for laying down a plan with specific goals in mind. Goal setting means to success more than a map or light in darkness, it helps you really get a handle on what you really want.
Control is key, isn’t it obvious why most people fall short of expectation or cant’ achieve desired goals even when they really want to? They had nothing on it. Responsibility is a hidden handle to control. When you shift or dodge responsibility, you consciously by neglect or unconsciously by ignorance sabotage your ability to exercise authority and control or even effect change. Seeds of success is about bringing to the fore those little but fundamental factors or levers as I call them which when applied produce incremental effect.
In a broad sense success is a continuous journey which involves setting goals and achieving them, breaking barriers, improving the status quo, enlightening the understanding, pursuing higher values and becoming a better, broader, finer and cultivated being towards the ultimate good. Success is a continuum. But the challenge that immediately presents itself is incontinuity (whether as a result of failure or lack of ability). The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

There isn’t a level of attainment where anybody is guarantied problem or challenge free life, if the individual is of the improvement conscious breed and not the mediocre class who would rather maintain the status quo than meeting failure in the attempt to improve. In the journey of success there’s no fantasy land where problems don’t exist. So don’t think you are hard done when you don’t find one.

But the tweak lies in seeing problems as challenges that prepare and improve you for the next, that’s a winning attitude. Imagine a lad playing a computer game, no matter how difficult a level is, he attempts to win it, in doing that knows the next level will be harder but he expects it with excitement. He sees the next as his biggest challenge thus far and knows he must improve his performance to win. That’s a progressive attitude.
You have heard that success is not a sudden flight. Your biggest dash may not get you from point ‘A’ to point ‘Y’ but it can get you from ‘A’ to ‘B’ and that is improvement. You can measure success, yes you can categorize it. What level of success do you want now and here (bearing in mind then and there)? Most people have a clear picture of what they want, the amount of success they aspire and I think but not moderately that everybody knows what they want to a reasonable precision whether in business, relationship or personal life, we all want good success. But is that enough? With that alone your biggest dash may not get you from point ‘A’ to ‘B’. The mistake most people make is equating their ultimate goal to the current objectives they have to fulfill to eventually achieve the success in the big picture. At different times, success means different things. The success of tomorrow may make little sense in the face of today’s challenges. Hence the pursuit loses steam and fall short. Be practical and intelligent in your pursuit. Goal setting is your most important tweak in your tool box to really get a handle on the success you intend.
  1. You start being successful the moment you know specifically what you want and declare to achieve. Develop the habit of being precise with what you want and declaring it. What do you want? Anything, any kind of job replied a job seeker. Ok, go downstairs ask the cleaner to put you through with his routines, you will be working with him onwards. No, please Sir replied the job seeker, you know that’s not what I want, I’m better than that. 
  2. You get what you want. How often we here that and how little the sense most people make from it? If you want success you will get it and it’s no different with failure. Who in the right senses wants failure you ask? Obvious answer, everybody wants success but very few choose it. We usually know what we ultimately want by our good intentions but when it comes to how to get it, majority choose wrongly by poor decision making. What informs your decision?
  3.  You get what you ask for. How do you ask and from whom do you ask? Let’s start from the latter, it’s clever to seek professional advice, it’s wise to begin the asking from you. Ask yourself all the questions that be and provide the answers to the best of your intuition. That way you get to assess yourself and possibly cover your bases. Imagination is powerful and boundless; it’s the best source of knowledge.  A good way of asking is setting a course, a line of action or plan and then demanding that the objectives or goal of the set plan be achieved. Heaven, the universe, people (call it what you want) help those who help themselves. There is no way any of these three can help you, if in effect they have nothing to help you with. Ask for their help but give them a handle at least. He that needs help must first show himself ready to receive it.

It’s not enough to know what you want, that doesn’t get you far, take another step to know how you can achieve it. Questions are very powerful especially the how questions. Goal setting helps bring into perspective what you can expectant if you derail along the line it help realign your attention on the course. It’s quite easy to lose attention. Nobody knows tomorrow they say, but we can know what to expect don’t we? I will prepare myself said Lincoln and my opportunity will come. Opportunity wastes no time with the unprepared.
A good way to prepare for the unknown is to know what to expect. You increase in confidence when you meet your expectations. You win trust and respect when you meet other people’s expectation.
The big picture of the success we desire is always there in clear view of our mind, the natural question however is how do you intend to achieve that?  Afford yourself the opportunity to actualize it, have a plan set the goal and pursue it, it’s that difficult. Whether you can achieve it? I strongly think you can. Just note the 3 keys to achieving anygoal. All successful people are characterized by this one virtue, they know what they want and then they pursue it with dogged determination. What keeps them on track? They constantly focus their mind on achieving what they want; they plan and purposefully pursue it.


Seed of the Day

To conquer inaction caused by fear of failure consider Edison’s recommendation; “to succeed faster you
must have to increase your chances of failure


The Seed that Grows Good

Where honour ceaseth, there knowledge decreaseth. The natural question is, what has respect got to do with success? Respect is a virtue that most people see as either really modest or out of place when compared with values like integrity, hard work, honesty etcetera. Respect is a seed, it’s one of the most basic and sometimes most overlooked values that can be developed and applied. It is an essential ingredient for a pleasing personality. Have you ever wondered how some people get to see what most other persons can’t? There are three categories of people, few who see things before they happen, many who realize it when it happens and the overwhelming majority who have no idea of what happened.

Respect as an attitude when rightly applied creates a consciousness, which tends to see beyond the superficial, whether it’s dealing with people things or ideas. The cure as I see it, said Herbert Hall is to be found in the cultivation of the faculty that finds some good in everything and everybody. The ability to see good is a function of respect. A plunge begins when one starts failing to recognize because they have refused by failure to observe and regard the good in anything. Who is as blind as the one who refuses to see? The ability to see good has long characterized some of the finest minds.

Like many other virtues, respect is not bestowed. Cultivating a faculty that finds good in everybody and everything begins by developing an attitude of respect for everybody and everything for what they do or are. You may not respect a dog for being a dog and you a human but you can give its due regard for what it does. Why bark when you have a dog? One who develops the capacity for respect creates the capacity to see good. Respect is a reward anyone can receive who practices their highest virtues.


Seed of the Day

Pure upright living and steady devotion to principles are the surest foundations of any success worth having - Julia Ward Howe


Increase Your Capacity to Receive

To whom much is given much is expected. He who seeks to receive must first create the capacity to receive that which he seeks. Too often than naught the tendency like I observe, reclines towards asking first to be given rather than creating the capacity to receive. The unfortunate eventuality with the first is that we get what we want but may never have/keep it or make best use of it. Eventually the much you receive is only tantamount to the capacity you have created to receive. It all revolves around the principle of first thing first. It’s like the lady who dearly sought for job, but lost it as soon as she got it. The reason is obvious, not that she asked what was too much for her to handle but that she did not first create the capacity to receive what she wanted. You risk losing what you ask when you get it, if you don’t first create the capacity to receive it. If it turns out that you are not fit for the job you have undertaken give it up and find another, better still refine yourself or adjust the job until it comes within your capability while you work on your competence, or else you will get progressively less suitable. A pilot may not be able to change the direction of the wind but he can very well adjust the positions of his ruder to maximize the dynamics of the wind for his movement. It answers much in drawing closer to the idea that opportunity abounds plenty not only to receive but to increase efficiency, to make far reaching impact because you have first created the capacity to receive. But it begins with a paradigm shift, from seeking what you can get to asking what you can give.

It’s funny sometimes how people think of giving when it’s talked about. I have never seen one give what one does not have. The golden rule of giving tells us that it’s always coming back to you what you have given. So the question you should be asking is; what have I given myself that I can give back to others? If you are sincere with this question you will learn to give more time to the improvement of yourself not for what you want to get but what you want to give. You owe a responsibility not just to yourself but to your immediate surroundings and possibly a wider community to improve yourself, because whether you know it or not another’s improvement and eventual success is tied to you living up to your responsibility improvement wise.

The world wants to meet you. If a man write a better book, preach a better sermon, or make a better mousetrap than his neighbor said Emerson, though he build his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door. Here is a summary of all that has been said.
  1.       There is plenty opportunity to increase your capacity
  2.        Ask what you can give first and let every other thing find its place
  3.        You can’t give what you don’t have
  4.        Give yourself such that you can’t hold back from giving out that which your have
  5.        The much you have is the much you have created capacity to receive
  6.        There is no lack of opportunity for service, only lack of ability to serve
  7.        Be a channel not a container. You put a limit to this capacity the moment you start thinking and functioning like a bucket rather than a hose.
Ask first what you can give, not what would be given you and you will open yourself to a wider horizon of opportunities.

Follow on twitter