There is one indisputable way to defeat fear and that is by
facing the fear. We all have fears that we must at one time or the other either
face or be confronted by. It takes courage and more to face your fear, this I
think is good. He is not wise who waits until he is confronted by his fears. It
is not uncommon for people to avoid their fears or problems thinking that in so
doing they escape it. No, you don’t escape a problem by avoiding, you do by
solving it.
Whether you face your fears or it confronts you, one of two
things is sure. You either conquer it or you fall in defeat at its feat. That
is not what you want is it? If any fear must be conquered, one way or the other
it must first be confronted. There are two stages about fear as it relates to
this post, the first is confronting it and the other is getting to conquer it.
Before you face your fear, here are some tips that can help.
1. Decide to face your fear: there is nothing
as powerful and effective in conditioning your mind for the task as a decision
to face your fear. Many people want to face their fears but have not made any real
decision to do so. Many people like to confront their problems, they think
about it, they wish they could, they even desire opportunity to face it. But
nothing favorably remarkable really happens until one makes the decision to
face the fear. Without this, you are yet to state your stand, that alone sends
a signal which I strongly believe attracts every opportunity and event that
tends to more fear which eventually prevents you from confronting the main fear
or problem in a manner that solves it. Don’t just intend to face your fear,
endorse your intention with a firm decision.
2. Commit to your decision: responsibility
begets commitment. You have decided to face your fear; that singular decision
would basically create a responsibility on your path towards achieving your
goal. You now have some thing to commit to. But commitment doesn’t just hold
because you want to commit to something.
You have to be realistic with issues. Have worthy basis that back your
decision to commit to your course. Consider the terms and turns about your commitment,
which will give clarity of purpose. Don’t leave your commitment floating on
baseless heights as such commitments don’t live long to achieve their purpose.
3. Work it: what happens after you commit to confront
your fears? William H. Murray puts it well in saying that the moment one
definitely commits oneself then providence moves too. All sort of things occur
to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events
issue from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen
incidents and material assistance which no man would have dreamed would come
his way. As Murray acknowledged, your decision and commitment brings all sorts
of opportunity in your favor but what is opportunity when you fail to use it?
What really brings you face to face with your fear is working the work. Most
people decide and commit to things but don’t get ahead working towards it. We
should withdraw from the idea of wanting to get lucky at everything; nature
reserves little or no luck for one who will not work to earn it. You begin to
get really lucky when you start working. Yes luck comes with work and most
people miss out on luck because they don’t like work. Who was it again that
said the harder I work, the luckier I get? Well, he’s every bit correct.
As much as
you would want to conquer your fears and advance with your affairs in life, you
must first cross the bridge of facing the fear. There are no two ways about
conquering fears, other than taking a decision to face it which is a conscious intentional
act. On the contrary, if you allow your fear to confront you (as it will most
certainly do when you avoid it) for not deciding to face it, you loose that
sense of control over the situation. There is a sense of control and confidence
that comes with intentionally going after something rather than something
coming after you, not just with fears alone. You become more confident and in
control when you are proactive, taking the initiative to do things rather than
being told to. That I think is a good way about handling fear. Make a strong
decision to confront your fear, commit to that decision and work towards it by
actually doing that which you otherwise think you can’t. Confront your fear and
face the future with courage.